After care is a vitally important service that O’Brien-Straatmann-Redinger Funeral Home and Cremations provides for families who have lost loved ones. People in our society have often become too busy to support the grieving. They expect them to forget their loss and move on with life. Those who are grieving are left behind to silently mourn without the support they need and deserve at this time.
At the death of a loved one, people find that their world has suddenly turned upside down, leaving them in a state of confusion, shock and pain that may be with them for months or even years, as they work through a process of recovery.
Grief recovery occurs in four stages. The first stage is acceptance of reality that the loved one is gone and will not return. Second, they must fully experience the pain of grief, including the physical, emotional and behavioral pain associated with loss. Third, they learn to adjust to the environment and live peacefully without their loved one. The last stage of the grieving process is an emotional withdrawal from the loved one, so that their energy may be reinvested fully into life again.
In order to help families through their grief O’Brien-Straatmann-Redinger Funeral Home and Cremations has implemented the STAR (Special Time to Always Remember) program for our children at the time of a death. It teaches the children, besides answering many of their questions honestly about the death of their loved one. This program gives them a way to express their grief and saying goodbye. Besides the STAR program, we have also started a program for children who have lost a newborn sibling. The videotape gives them a chance to identify their feelings, encourages them to share their feeling and to reconcile with the loss. O’Brien-Straatmann-Redinger Funeral Home and Cremations has a Grief facilitator on staff to provide support to individuals and families. We provide a Grief Support group that meets at 6:00 p.m. on the first Wednesday of each month at the Funeral Home.
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” Kahlil Gibran
Dealing With Grief
At some point in our lives, we all have to face the reality of losing a friend or family member to death. The idea of losing someone we love, however, can make even the most impervious people feel uncomfortable, confused, and afraid. Yet only when we confront death can we truly understand the value and meaning of life itself.
While we all need to work through our loss, there is no set way to deal with the death of someone we love. In experiencing grief people go through a range of jarring, contradictory emotions such as denial, anger, sorrow, guilt, and relief. People may fluctuate from feeling stable to being depressed.
According to research, some or all of the following emotions emerge throughout the course of a normal grieving process:
If you, a family member or friend are experiencing any of these symptoms, realize they are all part of the normal, healthy, and absolutely necessary process of grieving.
Quote: “One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us as we consider our problems, can change our whole outlook on the world.” Dr. Elliott Mayo
Basic Needs of the Bereaved
Six Mourning NeedsAlan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., has identified what he calls the “six mourning needs.” There are several ways to address each of these needs and to find comfort throughout the planning of the funeral, the actual visitation or wake, the funeral or memorial service, and long afterward.
When someone we love passes away, we need to do the following:
Although life will never be the same without the person who has died, part of him or her will remain a part of us as long as we remember what is important and forget the rest. Eventually, a new feeling of normalcy will emerge.